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Russiaball
Russiaball |nativename = Россияшар Российская Федерацияшар|image = RU.png|caption = Я люблю водку!|reality = Russian Federation|government = THE GRAND AND ALMIGHTY GOD-EMPEROR VLADIMIR PUTIN Semi-presidential republic|personality = Wants to restore empire|language = Russian (official) and many others|type = Slavic|capital = Moscowball|affiliation = UNball Restored Former Soviet Union|religion = Orthodoxyball Islamball Judaismcube Buddhismball|friends = Chinaball North Koreaball (sometimes) Polandball (sometimes) Brazilball (they can into hating Germans too!) Vietnamball Slovakiaball Serbiaball Bulgariaball Croatiaball Sloveniaball Denmarkball Portugalball Irelandball Quebecball BRICS members Argentinaball Uruguayball Namibiaball Belarusball Kazakhbrick That weirdo behind us who keeps buying our Lolita novels Pindosiyaball (sometimes) Kanukski (sometimes) Indiaball|enemies = Polandball (mostly) Romaniaball traitorous Hochland the Devil Merkelreichtangle NATOball the LGBT community Pindosiyaball (mostly) Fascists ISISball You stole my vodka, you viking motherfucker! North Koreaball (sometimes) I never give Kuril to him!!|likes = Vodka, Bears, Guns, Orthodoxy, Begin Anti-NATO, Tanks, Nukes, The Green Elephant, Borsch, Tea, Ice, Kvas, Pelmeni, CSGO, killing Germans, Alexander Nevsky, Minin, Pozharsky,Peter I the Great, Mikhail Kutuzov, Georgi Zhukov, Glorious leader Vladimir Putin, Shooting Ukraineball, CYKA BLYAT!,communism, Squatting, Adidas, Bullying EUball members espiacially Polandball|hates = Everything German (those kebab-eating homosexual atheists!), Any civilization, Gays, Kebab, Truman, [[Swedenball|'VICIOUS VIKINGS!!!!!!!']], memes about him, chechens, talkings about holodomor (THIS IS NOT A GENOCIDE),|founded = 1991|predicon=Soviet|onlypredecessor=Soviet Unionball|intospace = Was of First!|food = Vodka, borsch, sci, kasa, bliny, panckes with honey, kvass, many sopes and bread.|bork = Vodka vodka|military = Is of big and powerful, XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA|status = Tearing ISISball another 800 assholes with SU-27's|notes = I wanna return dad back}} Russiaball or Russian Federationball is a large, Orthodox and stronk countryball in Eurasia and is the largest countryball in the world. Russiaball is usually strong, proudly, and it got better compared to its old Soviet days, and known for its constant rivalry against Pindosiyaball and Germanyball and it's worst enemy (And nightmare) is NATOball. He can into space, and in fact he is the first into space. However, Russiaball is grumpy with the USAball and Turkeyball. Russiaball has fairly good relations with Chinaball but dislikes Japanball. He loves (not homosex though) his Slavic family and his sister Belarusball and his friend Kazakhbrick. Personality Russiaball - superpower. Therefore, he is not afraid to argue with Pindosiyaball. He likes his father, USSRball and missess him but Russia does not want to be commie but sometimes Russiaball wants sovietball back and sometimes acts like a commie. "Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia, shot glasses do not exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rus was the source of the quote, “Drinking is the Joy of the Rus, we cannot exist without that pleasure”. The ancestors of Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka. Indeed, the compound known as Ethanol also serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and we do know that ethanol has a high octane rate which was why scientists are so interested in the manufacture of ethanol from waste biomass in order to fuel the upcoming energy crisis. In other words, since Vodka is basically Ethanol, even their tanks can run on Vodka. During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The previous Imperial and Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sell of ethanol. Ethanol is the centre, life and blood of everything that is Russia. But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola. There is a reason for Russiaball having lost pride in itself and could not manage a single second without vodka: he used to be a world-spanning empire that scared even USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQRball into Italyball was that Soviet Unionball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over. Everybody, even USAball was understandably scared shitless of the might of the Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG. Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka. Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; even Stalin led Russiaball from a backwater in the arch-nemesis of USAball. The epic nuclear war films of world War III, they were all wrong. Russia went with a whimper, reduced to Tricolours with Rusting Rockets. No wonder the current alcohol epidemic of an empire that rotted from within itself. However, from this background of chaos and Mafias rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with old friend Chinaball. Though, he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of EUball. History Russiaball were the ancestors of the ancient Slavs (2ball). On their land attacked the Vikings. During the reign Oleg became the capital of Russia Kiev. So there was a law (many times right) Russian Grandpa - Kievan Rusball. He fought many times with Byzantiumball. In 988 he took the Orthodox faith. But soon his sons ( Vladimir-Suzdalball, Kiev principalityball, " Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favorite nickname), etc.) shared inheritance and less listened to each other. Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by- wait for it- the Mongols! Russian reported by Kumanball (generally Russian hated them and they hate them too). In 1223 a battle on the river Kalka ... Almost all Russian principalities were conquered by the Mongol Empireball. Russia almost was captured. When the remains of captured Russians declared independence Novgorodball. (It turns out that Russia fully nobody ever won). Novgorodball and Vladimirball were right (3 times right) grandparents Russiaball. Soon Muscovy won in 1380 winning the Golden Hordeball (the Battle of Kulikovo), and exactly 100 years later (1480) in general has ceased to be a "slave" to the Mongols (the Battle of the Ugra river). In Muscovy had a son - Tsardom of Russiaball. He fought with Swedenball and Poland-Lithuaniaball. His son - the Russian Empireball conquered the Rzeczpospolitaball, fought with Franceball, UKball, Ottomanball, the Japanese Empireball and the German Empireball. In 1918, his son, the Soviet Unionball killed him. He was born many children - Russiaball, Belarusball, Ukraineball and others. In 1941, his "friend", Nazi Germanyball treacherously attacked him, and after 4 years of a fascist himself killed himself by declaring that War. Signs hero cities have been awarded many of his grandchildren - Sevastopolball, Moscowball, Leningradball, Stalingradball, Murmanskball, Tulaball, Brestball and others. In 1962, because of his other Cubaball nearly started a new, perhaps THE LAST WAR IN OUR HISTORY! In 1986, his daughter Ukraineball something naughty (more in the article about Ukraineball). In 1957, Russiaball and her brother Kazakhbrick launched the first rocket into space. Before the Great Patriotic War (in the most of the former Soviet Union, so called Second World War) the Soviet Unionball selected for children daughters Belarusball and Ukraineball of the land of his brother - Polandball (Polish father, a former Polish kingdom) ( Polandball - Russia's slavic brother) which Polandball took away the Soviet Unionball in 1920. After the death of the father (or murder) Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnyaball and the two defold, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life. In 2014, Russiaball returned his brother - Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it. Relationships Друзья (Friends) * Chinaball - Best friend. * Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived). * Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. He pays a lot of curry. Also both in BRICS together. DEFEND CURRY! * UKball - Sometimes. He's protestant, but we both can into tea and German Devils removing. And also French. So my question is: WHY YUO DON'T WANT TO JOIN MY RESTORED SOVIET UNION? Oh, and he is an awesome pal. Thanks for ww2 aid! * Icelandball - Just arctic buddies... * Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. * Kazakhbrick - Russia's brother and friend. Kazakstan sometimes lets Russia use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab. * Balkan Countries - Most of the countries of the Ballkans are Russia's cousins and hang out alot. With the exception of Shqipball, Bosnia, and Romaniaball. Macedoniaball, Bulgariaball, Serbiaball, Croatiaball, Greeceball and Sloveniaball are his cousins. * Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not? * Portugalball - Brazil's father and trading partner. * Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there). * Eurasian Unionball - great Russia's son. * Serbiaball - Best friendski! Great helpings against capitalist American pig, and know truth about new world order NATO! * Bulgariaball - Best friends. Even Bulgariaball is in Nato and EU. But this makes Bulgaria confused. * Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since USSR, soviet long time of both helpings each other out , always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, he is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war, of likings him cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR. * Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. * Vietnamball - Father's good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia. Soviet is op my father. Друго-враги/Нейтрален (Frenemies/Neutral) * Polandball - Silly western pigski who are easy to bully. ХАХАХАХАХА, polan cannot into space! But we both can into vodka and we both like to bully and troll gays and Hochland and also both equally strong hate Krauts. * Pindosiyaball - Western pigski who is my frenemy but if we remove Kebab we do it my way as in fighting the rebels. * Japanball - Worthy opponent. Our book Lolita is number one bestseller there. Now a loyal bondage slave of the German devil. I am never givings Kuril! * Moldovaball - Doesn't want her to be with Romania and EU, nor Ukraine. * Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgaria, Greece and EU, nor Serbia, nor Albania. * Philippinesball - June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him. He is unfortunately that pig's teenage son. * Franceball - You're part of EU, a Homosex lover, and a Catholic, but are prayers are with you of heplings you remove terrorist. * Canadaball - Canada and Russia were buddies as vast resource-rich countries. They sometimes get a bit hostile to each other over arctic clay or a hockey game. Their friendship has deteriorated since that really awful disgrace of a video game sequel. As of 2014, their relationship have greatly worsened, but it's 2016 now, Harper is no longer in power, so we can probably get along, but NEVER IN HOCKEY!!! Ублюдки/Враги (Bastards/Enemies) * Germanyball, Merkelreichtangle and NATOball - Антихристы. Зло, родители котороых - шлюха Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!! Best drinking buddies ever. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true. * Hochlandball - ХАХАХАХАХАХА!!! Я УКРАЛ У ТЕБЯ КРЫМ И ТЕПЕРЬ ПОЧТИ ВСЮ ОСТАЛЬНУЮ ГЛИНУ ВОЗЬМУ!!! Но Львов брать не буду. ПОТОМУ ЧТО ЛЬВОВ - ПОЛЬСКАЯ ГЛИНА!!! ГОЛОДОМОР - ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ!!! АМ НЯМ ХОХЛАНД!!! Runaway EU sister. Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschliss free Crimea. * Kebab - They remove vodka. Literally (alcohol is against Sharia). And they stole Constantinople! Best friends with Merkelreichtangle and therefore threat to Russia. * Swedenball, Denmarkball and Norwayball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by crazy, vicious Kingdörk Vikings! * Vaticanball and Italyball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by Romans! * Mongoliaball - Worst fear. 1237 WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! BUT NOW AM OF STRONKEST THAN YUO. XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA!!! * Finlandball - Used to be Rossiya clay after i anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. * ISISball - Since NATO pigskis not doing anything to stop yuo it's up to Mother Russia to save the day. * Georgiaball - I defeated yuo easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball their independence! And let me anschluss them! * Azerbaijanball - Stop bullying Armeniaball or else i will remove yuo! * North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will into removing yuo. * Lithuaniaball - American puppet pigs! Always can into independance! Images And Comics Judeophobia.png JB4w2hn.png Russiavodka.jpg|Old comic featuring Poland and Russia Polandball1.jpg|Polandball Discovers Oil!!!!!! :D FranceVSRussia.png|The end Of the Napoleonic war RU.png Avatar2.png Immigrant army.png ISIS meets Russia.jpg Hat of Georgia.png FxiIu8B.png Space sweet space.png How Romania was Born.jpg Russia Visits some Friends.png Sweet memories of Ruthenia (eng).png Russia takes Notice.png 28bw7iw2298x.png SfUE7LW.png Originality issues (eng).png Ru, Ua, By removing ISIS.png 30860153.png Russiaball_by_algeriaball-d89kat4.png Reclaiming Clay.png There was never a good time to anger Russia.png Only_russia_ball_related_thing_i_have_bad0a0d2778e05d48e4c43a684aaad90.jpg Russia.png|Russia wearing Ushanka AIhsW5p.png Slavic illusionists.png PolandballWikiaAmboxPropaganda.png Russia_0.png CQlB0fk.png Kiribati, the irrelevant.png Бухалово с Финляндией(eng).png 4rBzlul.png hQSwKY7.png WTnIMJj.jpg Spain goes Slavic.png Tourists from around the world.png Scorched earth.png Ww1.jpg Chechnya stronk (eng).png About Vladivostok.png Poland cannot into space.png Roman Succession.png Пула (eng).png B7RPul6.png Asia is for Asians (2).png Seychelle shocked.png Черногория-Япония (eng).png 10414473 964684980215315 7324667096514686795 n.png 10384920 666800700081421 5116839748816004421 n.jpg Tibet's Uncertain Future.png Happy Turkey Day!.png Северная Война (англ).jpg Et tu, Kalinine?.png Sealand and Russia.png 10552543 1444298395838632 2710304661660090932 n.jpg Table flip.jpg Serbia vs Albania.png Nuclear dominance.jpg Seychelles meets Russia.jpg Walls.jpg Дурак (eng).png RU3.png Poland can into bullying.jpg germoney why.png Hungary becomes Tajikistan (eng).png RMumqpu.png K1gBMsf.png H9WMXUC.png YF85Z9b.png Europe and East Asia.png zq9qpnk.jpg Mn0gWn6.png Vodka.png|Russia with his vodka. Russia-icon.png Russia visits some friends (Spanish).png There was never a good time to anger Russia.png Russia Visits some Friends.png Russia takes Notice.png Russia didnt read the checklist.png Seychelles meets Russia.jpg Russia&Kazakh.jpg Russia card.png Invading russia.png Only russia ball related thing i have bad0a0d2778e05d48e4c43a684aaad90.jpg Saratovball.png Russia&Kazakh.jpg HDRussiaball.jpg 172px-Russiaball.jpg Russiaball.png Qa5UeGy-600x3000.png Russiacoolestcountry.png SIKYe5N.png Slavs by FZH.png auQ84PZ.png Polandball community by tringapore-d7m55l1.png Polandball_holiday_mayhem.png cCIE8Wg.png 3MXobUk.png N3nWRMn.png S6ukqVN.png yjsKx7G.png 'hMpD3YG.png KDj7zER.png YxL6dNH.png C8X0qFp.png 'w8Ddr0v.png Opera Mundi new.png 'gqxr9g0.png KM7jUxg.png EJNxCYw.png GLxXkn4.png 2zYuDBH.png 'sUpbbM0.png Switzerlandball_sneezes_in_train.png 60hfhy5.png VPAePlc.png Vo0XLbD.png 8jL6f1Z.png 'jPho1DQ.png 992qhyV.png MczCjUI.png BckPBvD.png TYCRAOn.png 'iLbrG85.png 'pEqSpSN.png 4ONYlGu.png 12279202 986715951370210 4348325871531581602 n.png VPmIOS8.png NjC58JY.png %27gLIQoMV.png FO85LzY.png VoNkUek.png 'g7k3hC3.png QXODtgk.png 5ePeOCz.png 'zjzOdW0.png 'fcPZVv6.png MJTScKq.png 'y2UVs8k.png MuGPEAM.png S5zMyH6.png VZg6uNu.png DEYyRS6.png 3AUtIho.png W76iTS3.png 'u9XOpYU.png Da_Polandball_crew.png Familia_de_countryballs.png Polandball_squad.png Pmix_clásica.png Club_internacional_Polandball.png A_little_group.png Sele_Polandball.png The_Cartel.png fPCaZZT.png lcIRwnp.png lfayCa3.png 1vt3Nw1.png rRPmYnn.png zRdAi6w.png 2014WorldCupGroup.png UClmoX5.png 10984252 760360490714361 5663726950294445992 n.png KHM7u5W.png ERcFRmc.png OSCE Negotiations.png Planetballmap.png 12. Eurovision 2016.png *Poland cannot into woman *Burdened Whiteness' Man *Siberia *Soothing anger *Nordic Conflict *Soup *Brothers of Three Links *Facebook page fr:Russieballe cs:Ruskoball es:Rusiaball it:Russiaball ko:러시아공 nah:Rusiatapayoli nl:Ruslandbal pl:Russiaball ru:Россия sco:Russiaball Category:Russiaball Category:Europe Category:Asia Category:Countryballs Category:Burger Removers Category:Modern Countryball Category:Tea Removers Category:Sushi Removers Category:Pierogi Removers Category:Ukraine Removers Category:Superpowers Category:Juden-Kebab Removers Category:Homosex Removers Category:Slavic Category:Eurasian Union Category:Nuclear Powers Category:Large Countryball Category:Transcontinental Category:BRICS Category:Three lines Category:North Asia Category:East Asia Category:Eastern Europe Category:World Cup Host Category:ISIS Removers Category:OSCE Category:Mongoloid Category:Independent Category:Black Sea Category:Olympic Host Category:Russian Speaking Countryball Category:Indigenous Category:Kebab Removers Category:Jihadist Removers Category:Cold Category:Tundra Category:Arctic Category:Cute Category:G20 Category:Drama Queen